- someone: hi
- me thinking: be smooth
- me: a pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes
i hate when you become really close with someone but then they start becoming friends with other people and they slowly forget about you and you’re just like oh
(Source: gnarlyhype)
- me when my friends are sad: basically becomes a psychiatrist
- my friends when im sad: ok
- me: i want a hot body
- me: does absolutely nothing to achieve this
- Benefits when you're cute: More people notice you, more people talk to you, people listen to you, you get jobs easier, you get dates easier, it's easier to get into a relationship, people text you back faster, you get more followers, you get on those fuckyeah sites faster, you feel better about yourself.
- Benefits when you're ugly: you don't get raped.
- me at night: I'm going to try so hard at school from now on. I'll finish my assignments and study every night because it will make exams so much easier. I'll also spend more time with my family and less time on the internet in my room. I'll eat healthier and exercise regularly. I will be a better person, and give more than i take. I will treat every day like it's my last because you only live once. I will live a greater life.
- me the next morning: fuck that shit
for some reason i have this unrealistic expectation that sometime in the future i will be really attractive and desirable and fun to be around and successful
(Source: almostgolden, via antur)
what is the point in spending all our lives studying to become something great in the future and working hard to earn money and save money to do something great with it in the future when i could quite easily die in my sleep tonight? we spend the present worrying about preparing for whats to come, why do we not live in the now and embrace what we have in this moment in time? imagine dying in a week and all you ever did in your life was go to school and work a part time job at safeway.
(Source: sarahvisualart, via antur)
happy birthday matheus!!!!!!!!!!!!!! have a really really good day x
